Biker Bar
Apr 20, 2021
A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar. He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows: Hamburger – 2.99 Cheeseburger – 3.99 Chicken Sandwich – 4.99 Hand Jobs – 19.99 The crusty old biker waves the bartende...
Doctor and Wife....Second Opin
Mar 06, 2021
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home. She comes to the phone after...
Home for The Holiday's
Dec 09, 2020
Hey there Guy's, I've been gone so long. I've missed you all so badly ! It just doesn't feel like the holiday's without you in my life. So, here I am. I'm hoping to speak to all my special one's before the New Year . Now that would truley make my holi...
Sometimes.....
Jul 30, 2020
A women just wants to be bent over a banged like a screen door in a huricaine.
More Than Safe Sex........
Mar 20, 2020
Durging these crazy times, Phone sex and masterbation may be the only way to stay virus free. So cum with me... we can nasty, dirty and still stay safe.
Someday's
Feb 27, 2020
You just need a hug on the butt.....with a paddle ! Mistress ~Gwen ~
5 Ways For A Man To Be Happy..
Jul 22, 2019
(1) Be with a women who makes you laugh.(2) Be with a women who gives you her time.(3) Be with a women who makes you horny.(4) Be with a women who takes care of you.(5) Finally, make sure these four women don't know each other.
I'm Well Aware......
Jul 19, 2019
I'm not everyone's cup of tea ..... I'd rather be someone's shot of Tequila anyway.
Wouldn't it be funny.....
Jul 18, 2019
To secretly place a sex toy in someone else's yard sale, then stand back and watch the reactions.
Let's lay in bed all day....
Jul 13, 2019
and trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge.
Little Johnny.......
Jul 09, 2019
Dad, why do people hang horse's ? Dad : " Know body hangs horse's son " He consoled him."Who told you that Johnny? "Johnny: I just heard mommy on the phone saying that her new boss is hung like a horse ! "
A Fool Proof 3 Step Plan .....
Jun 29, 2019
Two keep a good man..... Suck his cock right..... Make him a sandwich...… And shut the fuck up once in a while.
All You Need.....
Jun 10, 2019
Is someone who see's the crazy in you and wants you anyway.....That would be me.
With The Right Person......
Jun 10, 2019
There is no such thing as inappropriate behavior .
Butt Plugs....
Jun 04, 2019
Are all fun and games...….. Until you fart and shoot the cat ! :(
All She Wants .......
May 22, 2019
to hear is that { You Want Her } ……… All He Wants to hear is { His Balls Slapping Against Your Ass.}
Women Find Funny Men Sexy ~
May 22, 2019
If you can make a women laugh, you're almost there ……… If you're almost there and than she laughs ……….. That's a different story ~
~ MY PET .........
May 20, 2019
I want to take you like you have never been taken, to leave you unable to think, only feel and be lost in the moment to lose yourself and to reach heights like never before while gripping me tight.
MEN ARE....
Apr 21, 2019
A lot like infants.....If you want to shut them up..... Put your boobs in their mouth.
Hey Whiny Little Dick,
Apr 06, 2019
If I offended you...…..Cry me a river. I'll bring snacks and a raft ….. I will literally float down your tears, eating chip's and working on my tan.
Bad Boy ......Bad Boy ........
Mar 24, 2019
What You Gonna Do........When they cum for you.
Some Days You Just .........
Mar 11, 2019
Have to create your own orgasms, OOPS ! I meant Sunshine ! Yeah, sunshine.
Some Days You Got To .........
Mar 11, 2019
Make your own orgasms. I mean Sunshine, Some days you got to make your own sunshine.
IF YOU HAVE TO .....
Feb 17, 2019
Check your surroundings before you open your photo gallery in public...… You're my kind of people !
You Remind Me Of My Pinky Toe
Feb 11, 2019
Sooner or later, I'm going to bang you on a table !
" His Kiss ......
Feb 11, 2019
Awakened the beast in me after tasting wild. I'd never be tame again. " ~N.R. Hart
You Can Tell How Much ........
Jan 29, 2019
A women likes you by her feet. If they are behind her ears. She likes you a lot ! :)
Which sounds classier ?
Jan 28, 2019
Gangbang or orgy? I'm updating my Christen Mingle profile,
Bury Yourself So Deep Inside..
Aug 22, 2018
Me ...... That I feel hollow when you are not with me.
The Right Way To Kiss A Women~
Aug 22, 2018
Is to push her up against the wall and kiss her like you fucking mean it !
What's The Difference ........
Aug 13, 2018
Between Light and Hard ? You can go to sleep with a light on.
If You're Kinky..........
Jul 22, 2018
And you know it...……….Clap your …….Oh, they're tied ? Nevermind.
I'm Not Saying..........
Jun 10, 2018
I did kinky things last night but, Satan woke up on my couch this morning and won't make eye contact with me.
SPUNCKING.....................
Jun 09, 2018
(V) : action; When spooning turns into fucking.
If You Are Going To Call......
May 30, 2018
The cops every time you spot me hiding in the bushes to see you.....I don't think this relationship is going to work out.
I've Been Asked To Join ......
May 30, 2018
A swingers club, but I'm a little nervous. What if I'm not good enough ? I haven't been on a swing since I was 10.
If You Rub A Kiwi Fruit ......
May 30, 2018
With one hand and rub one of your testicles with the other, it's difficult to tell the difference.It also get's you banned from Walmart.
I Was Beaten By A Women.......
May 28, 2018
in an elevator yesterday, I was staring at her boobs and then she said "Please press one". I guess I misunderstood ?
You Know The Sex Is Good .....
May 19, 2018
When it sounds like you're running in flip flops !
When Someone Say's To Me......
May 14, 2018
Great minds think a like, I just look at them and think, "You Dirty Bastard".
Sex Is Like Vacuming .........
May 12, 2018
Hopefully it's loud, involves lots of sucking and it's best if you do it in every room of the house, often !
According To Recent Studies...
May 04, 2018
Blowjobs are the healthiest breakfast, as it comes with sausage, 2 nuts and, a protein shot. Stay healthy ! Suck a dick.
You Can........
Apr 20, 2018
Love me, hate me or masturbate screaming my name........It's the thought that counts !
When.........
Apr 09, 2018
A man truly submits to the right women.......Good things happen !
Never Hesitate.....
Apr 06, 2018
To discover my body.....There is no curve of me that doesn't deserve to be caressed, nibbled on, spanked or kissed......Do not be afraid of my body.......Worship me.
I Missed You !
Mar 30, 2018
I took a few weeks off to ride up and down the west cost on my Harley and I had a great time !But, all that rumbling between my legs has left me as horny as hell ! So, I am logged on and ready to get freaky with my favorite callers ! I hope you missed me too ! Give me a call over the Easter holiday...
I Wish......
Mar 11, 2018
More of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.
I Always Wanted To.......
Mar 05, 2018
Lay naked on a bear skin rug in front of a fireplace...........Evidently, Cracker Barrel has a policyagainst this.
Lead Us.......
Feb 19, 2018
Not into temptation.... Just tell us where it is.....and we'll find it !
Never Let Your Man.....
Feb 04, 2018
Leave the house hungry or horny .......Because somewhere out there is a whore with sandwiches !
Persuade Me......
Feb 03, 2018
I'm dying to try something so naughty..... because, I'm dying to be.........so naughty !
If You're Kinky......
Feb 03, 2018
And you know it...... clap your .......Oh, they're tired ? Never mind.
Police matter.
Feb 03, 2018
Cop: "Turn around." Me: "Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you never come around."Cop: "TURN AROUND ! Me: "Every now......"* gets tased *
Doctors Visit .......
Jan 24, 2018
My friend went to the doctors the other day at his wife's request and found out that their new family Dr. is a young female and drop dead gorgeous ! He was embarrassed but she said " don't worry I'm a professional... .. I've seen it all before,...just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out".He...
~ Fuck Lust ~ (verb)
Jan 23, 2018
An insatiable sexual desire to fuck the hell out of that certain special someone you think about all the time.
Whenever Someone Says To Me...
Jan 09, 2018
" Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from ?"I like to respond with " Do you watch porn ? "
My Advise......
Jan 09, 2018
Do more of what lights your soul on fire ~ Keep that flame burning hot !
More ~Words To Live By........
Jan 09, 2018
Live fast, have fun and be a bit mischievous !!