The Ritual Chamber is one of Canada’s foremost spaces for BDSM play and workshops. It’s located on a non-descript street in Toronto. From the outside the chamber looks like any other well-kept house. Exposed Brick. Manicured shrubs. A sleek exterior. You’d never find it if you didn’t know it was there, which is by design. Most clientele require complete discretion for their visits. Inside the main room the walls are lined with whips and floggers. There are leather cuffs hanging from the ceiling and a large St. Andrew’s Cross in the corner. Other rooms have themes. A doctor’s office complete with stirrups and IV drips. A schoolroom with an undersized desk and oversized blackboard. There is a room with mirrors everywhere, adorned with smoking chairs and a Victorian couch. Earlier this week I sat on the couch across from Dommes Lady Pim, Red Diamond, and the Chamber’s owner/ Headmistress Shahrazad. Conversations about the subject are endlessly fascinating. That day I was there to learn about effective submission. “A person shouldn’t start out by labeling themselves submissive. I would recommend they start by having experiences,” said Mistress Shahrazad. “Slowly exposing yourself to the type of play you are curious about lets you decide what kind of submissive, bottom, or switch you are, or if you are any of those things at all. THE BEST WAY IS ALWAYS EASING IN, asking questions to people you trust, and figuring out what’s right for you. Though depictions of Dommes within the media are mostly limited to leather clad women spanking the fuck out of ball-gagged businessmen, actual BDSM relationships - both professional and personal - are more nuanced." Over the course of our hour-long conversation these Dommes shared knowledge and best practices for relinquishing power and the intricacies and extreme acts of communication necessary to get the most out of your experiences. EXPLORE HOW YOU’D LIKE TO BE DOMINATED: Before trying anything it’s best to get a clear understanding of what turns you on about the prospect of domination, and the scenes you’d like to explore. That can happen through reading up on the culture, taking a workshop, or listening to a podcast. Homework rarely seems sexy, but knowledge and information allow you to ease into BDSM without getting over your head. “We are facilitators of psychoerotic fantasies,” said Shahrazad. “Most people’s understanding of sex is very limited. OUR EROTIC FANTASIES SOMETIMES ARE SEXUAL, SOMETIMES PSYCHOLOGICAL, AND SOMETIMES PHYSICAL. It can be a sensual or visceral experience. It can be a spiritual experience, in terms of worship, or even transcendence of the self. People come in here for all kinds of reasons. The commonality is an erotic situation involving power.” During our conversation the Dommes described dozens of scenarios. Some people want to be mummified. Others want spanking and corporal punishment. For some domination is reverence, doing the bidding of someone who they’ve put into a position of absolute power. There is psychological age play. Alien fetishes with silicon eggs. Wax. Ropes. If you’ve got a fantasy it can always be discussed and explored with the right Domme. *** TO BE CONTD … SEE PART 2 *** (Lady Pim, Red Diamond, and Shahrazad are on Twitter. * Graham Isador is a Toronto writer @presgang.)